Written by Alice Bingham
Photographs taken of us by Wylde Folk Studio
So David and I started a “thing” a month ago, we made a decision to make a conscious effort to have a weekly date night. We have three children under four, so heading out to restaurants, bars, movies etc just isn’t quite fitting for us personally at this time. Giving everything that is happening in the world right now with COVID 19, I know so many more of you will be adapting to doing this too.
I had this vision in my mind about setting it up, I didn’t want it to be us sitting on the couch watching Netflix or having a meal at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing this with the hubby but I wanted to make it more about connecting David. We have three young children, I have two small businesses I run from home, David works long hours on the ferries and he is studying Finance at university online, our lives are crazy chaos. I did not want this to hold us back, it is important to be to work on my relationship with David. This is my WHY behind making it work, I could see us losing touch of each other and becoming robots in survival mode each day (that does sound a little hard but it is some what true).
We have made Monday night out “date night” however we will have a conversation on a Sunday night and both just map out our diaries to make sure this will work and if not change the night that week. Communicating about it is what builds up the excitement around it. When we both have this put in our schedule like a meeting or a workout or an appointment we can both get excited about it and know it is something we can look forward too. The past few weeks I have enjoyed choosing what we have done however I am going to allow David to plan some to as its always a special surprise for the other.
When I spoke to David about having a date night I was completely honest with him, I want it to not just be about the sex! Of course we are both hoping the end of the night will end this way, but I explained to him I really wanted to get creative try new things together and make it fun. Be silly, have a laugh together, bring some element of surprise into our relationships. He agreed with me that we both need this.
Our first date night I planned and I was super nervous David would be like “WTF are we doing” hahaha, but he surprised me and really enjoyed himself. I put on a guided stretching video on you tube and we did that together, we watched a relationship TED talk and did the ol adult thing (because hey thats connection right?) and to top the night off, I put on a guided meditation to fall asleep to. ALL FREE and all done at home. We had a laugh and a good chat too as we stretched.
The second week, I made raw chocolate because choccie always brings those loving vibes for us. It gets those endorphins going and we both enjoy it. We did another guided stretch, after we sat on the bed talking and just hung out no phones. It was nice. We then watched an episode of Arrow to finish the night off and we actually cuddled on the couch while watching it (haha say what).
I think we are going to have to make damn sure we make this apart of our routine as a non negotiable, it’s all fun and games now, but I am sure we could easily slip and just go arghhh nah lets just do our work when the kids go to sleep or find something else to fill our time with and go back into the way we were. This is so important to us.
So on the day/night this is happening, we have to set the scene as we aren’t leaving the house, it has to be exciting. I make sure I have my “loving” mood essential oils in the diffuser like Ylang Ylang, Ginger, Cassia and Lavender. I always have a nice shower and make myself feel good, just as I would going out (no make up though). To set the mood of date night I always dim the lights, set up a cosy place on the floor for us and already have it planned out so we can both just enjoy it. Again, I think it is so important to pop it in the calendar so we both know it is happening and WILL be happening.
DATE NIGHT IDEAS
I have created a list of things we have done and I want us to do together in the near future and I thought I would share them with you all for inspiration. The obvious is have a meal at home together and watch a flick, this is still a beautiful thing to do but mix it up it will be fun I promise.
- Guided Meditation – whether you want to use an app or just a you tube one, pop it on, set up a comfy space and go for it. Sit next or opposite to each other so its more special. Here is a FREE couple one I love on youtube.
- Guided Stretching – we all hold stress and tension in our body, after a long day its nice to let go of what your body is holding on to from work, being a parent or worries in our lives. We love to do a 10minute one. My hamstrings are always tight so this guide was amazing. 10 Minute Free Stretch.
- Make A Fort – so basically a cubby house for us adults, you can trend it up with cute pillows, throws and some treats on a platter. You can get creative and add some fairy lights. Pre write down 3 convo starters each so get the chit chatter going.
- Watch A Relationship TED Talk together – Learn about your love language together, You never know you both might learn something new to incorporate in your daily lives. HERE you can find all the relationship TED talks to choose from together.
- Pick 2-3 Karma Sutra Positions – Spice up your sex life and pick one of the hundreds of sex positions you have always wanted to try with your partner. It is actually a good laugh trying to get into some haha.
- Learn To Dance – Yes you can get online couple dance tutorials or try some for free on youtube. You could even learn a Tik Tok Dance and have a good laugh while doing so.
- Read The Same Book or Listen To A Podcast Together. You will both have something to discuss together.
- Massage – make up a nice massage oil and give each other a massage. I love using a blend of Coconut Oil and Bergamot, Ylang Ylang and Peppermint Essential Oils.
- Make A Dessert – get creative in the kitchen together making something yummy for you both to enjoy. Put on some music and enjoy each others company.
- Play A Board Game – so I am so not a board game person but I love twister haha.
- Couple Yoga or Breath Work – again there are so many FREE yoga workouts on You Tube.
- Comedy Night – watch a stand up comedy together. Nothing beats a good laugh.
- Write Each Other A Love Letter – sounds simple by we can not always say what we want out loud.
- Take A Shower – Something most couples do when they start a relationship, chat about each others day and unwind.